The End?

No, but a change is in order.

More on that later.

I spent the better part of last week in the bed. I had what my doctor called “a viral infection in my eustachian tubes”. It caused dizziness and then nausea from the dizziness and then back pains from the constant lying down. A wonderful gift from this time in bed was a lot of time to think.

To think about life.

To think about death.

To think about what I’m doing with my life.

To think about what a stupid question “so, what are you doing with your life?” is. Duh, I’m living.

To examine my reasons for creating this blog.

Honestly, I saw a quick fix. A get rich quick scheme. A way to make all my dreams of sitting at home every day, writing on my couch and not talking to other people, come true. I saw other blogs that had advertising and sponsors and I thought “hey, I can do that!” I thought I had a unique perspective on healthy eating that was under utilized. So, I started Heavy Evan and quickly tried to make myself a “brand”.

I tried to create a common voice on all social media platforms.

I thought and rethought everything I put into the blog and wondered “how can this attract the attention of a boat load of people?”

I decided that I really needed to write a post every day. I mean, all the other blogs are doing it!

Then I sat back and watched the stats. I checked and rechecked them. I decided to have a giveaway because surely that would bring in new people! I made friends with other bloggers (some of them are really excellent people!) and even got a couple to tell their followers about me. And you know what happened?

Nothing.

The most viewers I have ever had in a day was 77. Now, don’t get me wrong, that is excellent and I am glad that many people cared to read this silly thing.

I was listening to NPR the other day and a very smart professor from Yale was on to discuss social media and if it could eventually kill the novel (I am sorry I don’t remember his name!). He said something that really clicked with me:

“Your first thought is not always your best thought.”

But how many of us think that it is? Basically all of your friends on Facebook and Twitter. And me. I really thought that my brilliance would shine out of the blog and someone at the New Yorker would read it one day and take me out of this valley of perdition.

All of these grandiose notions led to a blog that I wasn’t passionate about and I think that definitely shows through. So, I decided to delete the Heavy Evan Facebook page, delete my Twitter account (because it’s really pointless to me) and dial way back on the posts. You will be lucky to get three a week. But, I promise you, those posts will have substance and I will put more thought into them. I want to keep writing about my struggles to eat better and I want to update those who are interested on my “old college try” at being a runner. I still think my viewpoint is underutilized in the blogosphere and I still think that people can be helped by it.

The bottom line is: I am not a nutrition expert, I am not a cook, and I am not an exercise enthusiast. I would like to be all of those things, but I wouldn’t love to be those things. I have found other things that I love.

I love to write, I really do. There are several writing projects that I have started and want to devote my full attention to. My friend Kaleb is helping me work on these and he has also helped me find another thing I love:

I love to edit. I don’t know how to make this into a career, or if I ever will, but I really love it. Kaleb is helping me with this as well, as I am currently editing his book which is, ironically, about “How to Write”.

I guess the answer to the question in the title is “No”. It is the end of the Heavy Evan that was and the creation of the Heavy Evan that will be. I hope he will be better, because you faithful readers deserve that. I hope he will be less melodramatic, but that is not really possible because I am really melodramatic. It is in embracing that fact that I will create better art.

Thanks for sticking with me.

 

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7 responses

  1. I will always stick with you no matter what. I loved reading your blog the way it was and I’m sure I’ll love it the way it will be. If you feel good about what you write, if you feel passionate about it, then it is a success. Even if no one ever reads it.

  2. I know I’ve had those moments when I’ve wondered about monetizing my blog & somehow being able to turn what I’m doing for my health into what I do for my wealth, as it were. It just isn’t me.

    I do get so much out of reading blogs, yours and others. I’m sitting here now, craving chocolate and a cheeseburger, so instead, I’m drinking one more glass of water before going to the gym and catching up on bloggers who inspire me. It helps me stay focused, and motivates me to keep it up. So, thank you!

    Keep us posted as you figure out how to live your dream. Use this blog if it helps you, and don’t if it doesn’t, but know that we’re all rooting for you no matter what!

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