I told you the other day that the toast with Almond Butter was the last healthy thing I had that day. Here’s what I had the rest of the day: a hamburger, fries and italian sausage with peppers.
I went to Handy Andy with my friend Skip for lunch on Monday. I felt like I had been so good in the past couple of weeks and I needed a treat (like the hamburger and fries weren’t enough). I got two orders of fries. I am shamefaced. I think at this point in the samurai movie I would have to fall on my sword to save my family’s honor. Look, I know I give myself a hard time, but it is really because I know how deep the rabbit hole goes. I don’t want to fall down there again. So I have to be really strict with myself, and I haven’t been because if I do one good thing I expect one bad thing as a reward. That is such backward thinking, but at the moment I feel it’s genius. I think it might be because I focus so much on my emotions when I eat and let them guide me as far as what I eat. I hope that I can get to the place where eating is just something I do to live and not something I live to do. Does that make sense? I feel like it should be needlepointed on a pillow somewhere.
For dinner Monday night we had Italian Sausage and Peppers from the Peas and Thank You cookbook. I think I may have blogged about this before, but this is one of our go-to dishes. It has a very large yield and we can eat it for dinner and then have it for lunches for several days afterwards.
Oh, and the sausage is veggie sausage. I never thought, in all my life, that I would eat and enjoy fake sausage. But I was wrong. It is actually very good.
I had a problem with the dish this time though, and that is because Nikki had not chopped the peppers very small. I always have a hard time eating vegetables if they crunch. Is that weird? For some reason, I just don’t like the texture or the way it feels when I eat it. It just seems wrong somehow. I powered through it and made a happy plate.
I don’t know how much I will blog the next two weeks, my friends. I am on vacation until January 2nd and I just don’t know how interesting my activities will be. I will do my best to at least post every other day, if not every day. Also, I have encountered vacation Evan today and I am not proud of him. He has not made very good food choices and I hope that I can do better. I know it is going to be very hard because I don’t have a structure. A work day gives me a great structure to base my eating around. When I just sit all day I am more likely to gravitate to the kitchen and eat something terrible for me out of boredom. Thankfully, there is not bad food in the house. But, like I told you before, I have made some crazy concoctions when there is no food in the house. I know for a fact I have mixed Nesquik with all kind of foods I am not proud of. Pray that I have the strength to keep doing well for myself and my future family. I want to come out of this losing weight by the New Year. So that my resolution will be to lose more weight instead of lose weight in general.