Faith and Humanity

FUDGE!Do you like how I tried to make the picture festive? I love our snow-people sign. This is from LR Designs. Check them out, they make great stuff.

Yesterday was our annual “Eat til you blow up” day at work. We are all supposed to bring something snacky. I always bring fudge. Hence the fudge. Want to know how to make it? It’s devilishly simple. Take a bag of milk chocolate chips and melt them with twelve ounces of peanut butter (I used crunchy). Once they’re melted quickly stir in one can of sweetened condensed milk (if you don’t stir fast it becomes like dried concrete. No joke). Once combined put into a 8×8 (or whatever pan you make brownies in) pan and make even. Put in the fridge overnight and voila! I cut it with a pizza cutter.

This is the temptation that faced me when I sat down for lunch yesterday:Like my grandfather used to say: Gooood Loooooord.

I am happy to say that I only ate a few pigs in a blanket. And a few sausage balls. And a sausage biscuit. But! I didn’t eat any of the sweet stuff. There’s some sort of victory in that.

I had a really lousy day today. This is one of my triggers. On the way home I was seriously debating going to Wendy’s and ordering a triple with large fries and a large coke. I fought myself all the way home. I had to mutter to myself “I do not need this, it won’t make me feel better,” while I passed each potential eatery. I made it, but just barely. And I promptly made some sweet tea when I got home. I told you, I like to bargain.

Let me go into why I had a lousy day. I work in Procurement Services, probably the most hated department on campus.

An example of the notes I put on documents I send back. It looks like I said "I can't pay from a fox", which makes remarkable sense.

We are responsible for making sure that all of the money spent by departments adheres to State policies. So, everyone looks at us like a parent getting onto them. That is the reason for most of my lousy days, I get chewed out by different people I am trying to help. Sometimes, however, the people I work with put me in a foul mood. Today we found out that we are not getting Monday and Tuesday of next week off, like we thought we would. But, we are getting off from next Wednesday until January 2nd, an extraordinary holiday in my mind. The Chancellor sent us an email (that everyone thought was the day off announcement) wishing us all an Happy Holiday and thanking us for our hard work. You could hear a pin drop as everyone read the email. Then realization hit. I started to hear “This is such a slap in the face” “What a jerk!” “I can’t believe this, it’s just ridiculous!” I hurt really bad inside when I heard this. These cries from people who have a nice job, get a regular salary, and can feed their kids. I thought about all the people on the unemployment line, wondering how they are going to feed their kids when the checks stop. I wondered about all the moms and dads who were going through six interviews a day with teenage managers of McDonalds. I thought about all the people that have a job, but don’t get even Christmas day off, and are so thankful to work. I thank You Lord, for giving me such a good job and a good life. Please forgive Me for ever wanting more than security.

That being said, there is still no reason to throw all my strides toward health to the wayside. I realized, I have to figure out my binge eating triggers and then work to override them with other thoughts. It is going to be very hard, and is probably a lifelong process. But I can do it, I proved that today. What are some of your triggers?

If you start to lose faith in humanity don’t eat a burger. Hug a dog.

It’s infinitely better.


12 responses

  1. Being sad is my trigger. I think that’s why I’m sitting here and have almost finished off an entire sleeve of saltines. However, I am surrounded on three sides by doggies, so I’m going to hug them and put those last crackers away. BTW, I didn’t realize anyone thought we’d get off next week. I like what you said about being thankful for having a job. I have to tell myself that almost every day when I come home.

    • Thank you Blair. It is hard to love your job sometimes, and whenever I had those times I used to eat a bag of M & M’s. I try to think more about the people who aren’t as blessed and that straightens me out. Also, it gives Gawain a little reprieve from all the hugging. I swear he looked at me weird the last time…

  2. I have to keep reminding myself every day that being thin and healthy feels better than anything could ever taste. And . . . hugging a dog is 0 weight watchers points. Love you!

  3. You didn’t eat sweets at work and you didn’t go to Wendy’s. What a victory for today! Feeling sad or lonely always made me want to eat, as if food was my friend and could keep me company. What a joke. I am learning that food is really only my “friend” if I use it to fuel my body the way God intended.

    I hate to say much about people being upset about not getting off Monday and Tuesday since I’ve already been off for a week, but it reminds me of my former job where people got so upset when we didn’t get a Christmas bonus or it wasn’t as much as they had hoped. That always irritated the bosses because people seemed to forget the meaning of the word, “bonus.” It was a gift, not something to which we were entitled.

    One last thing. The recipe for fudge calls for 12 oz. of peanut butter. 🙂

  4. People I work with doing things that upset me is definitely a huge trigger for me. The past couple of difficult conversations I have had left me standing right in front of the open fridge. As in, I’m on the phone, having a difficult conversation, and suddenly, I’m on the phone standing in front of the open fridge finishing the call. Thank goodness that carrots are about the only grab & eat thing I have it the stupid thing.

    Congratulations on making it home without stopping for food, and for resisting the astonishing spread you had at the office all day long. Sheesh, I cannot imagine that I would have had much willpower left for the drive home if I’d had to look at that all day long.

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