Get off the Roof!

I’m back! Did you miss me? I am so sorry I have been gone the last two days. I took ill Monday morning and just got over it yesterday afternoon. So, I have been out of work. And when I’m not at work I have no internet, which equals no blog posts. Plus I really didn’t feel like writing them. The past couple of days I have eaten nothing but soup and a little salsa, so I am going to focus on the weekend’s eats.

Friday night we were helping the in-laws to get ready for a Relay for Life yard sale we were having Saturday morning (aside: it was quite successful. We raised close to $300!), and they wanted to eat at Pizza Den. This is a local establishment that serves pizza, pastas and amazing sandwiches. They were having a fundraising night for the school where Nikki works so I did not raise a fuss. I did, however, bring my own dinner. I had a White Chocolate Wonderful peanut butter sandwich and some pretzels. Score one victory for Evan! I was asked twice before they ordered if I was sure I didn’t want anything, but after that nothing else was said. I was kind of surprised. Usually in these occasions someone will throw in a “This sure tastes good Evan” for good measure, but they were all pleasant. I may not have to have the awkward talk with my mother-in-law after all.

Much to my surprise, lunch came around on Saturday and Nikki had stolen the left over stromboli from Pizza Den.

This time I failed. However, I usually eat a whole one and Nikki and I shared this one, so I am counting it as a successful failure. These things will occur, I know, and I am not going to beat myself up. I will just focus on the next meal.

Aaaaand then our friends Kaleb and Lisa came over Saturday night to watch the LSU/Alabama game, so naturally we had football game foods:

pizza rolls, chips and salsa, and Mountain Dew! My Achilles Heel! I added a healthier option and made hummus from the Peas and Thank You cookbook.

No one ate it. Even me. I can’t pass up pizza rolls. I am just glad I had friends there who would help me eat them. I can eat a bag of forty by myself, no problem.

Sunday was a lot of fun. We had old fashioned Sunday at our church. Usually the men wear overalls and the women wear big dresses and bonnets. I didn’t have any overalls, but I had some suspenders. I bought these suspenders last year for old fashioned Sunday and found that my gut was too bulbous to wear them comfortably. I thought that I was a little lighter this year so I tried again and…they fit! I could comfortably get my pants over my gut and not put on a show (if you know what I mean). Here is my look:

I think you can see the reflection of my dear wife laughing in my glasses.

That afternoon I was sitting outside reading Romans to prepare for that night’s Awana lesson. Gawain was with me, since he had this look on his face when I opened the curtains and he could see outside:

I threw the frisbee and looked out over our land. I love this time of year. The leaves change, the temperature lowers and it becomes dark earlier in the evening. Everything seems magical. I have always been amazed at seeing my own breath. It seems like some weird form of validation. The proof that I am really alive. I started to beat myself up again about eating so poorly. Why do I fall into this trap every weekend? I would have continued to question myself, but a cold nose touched my foot and I turned to find that I had thrown the frisbee on the roof. 

I realized, with a laugh, that all this self reflection was pointless. I was putting myself on the roof – in isolation because of my mistakes. I realized that when I do this to myself I am no longer functional, I can’t achieve my purpose, like a frisbee on the roof. I cannot define myself by the place I have currently stopped, I just have to keep moving to get to the place I want to be. I have to get off the roof.

That might be an overly schmaltzy metaphor. Pepto Bismol can do that to you.

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15 responses

  1. I think half a stromboli instead of a whole is better for sure.

    We talked last night in our group about the fact that you can beat yourself up, or you can acknowledge that you did something you wish you hadn’t and spend a few minutes planning what you’d do differently next time rather than spiraling into more negative talk about how you’ll never get it right. It is hard to change the tape in your head, but you can do it.

  2. Missed you! Glad you’re feeling better.

    P.S. Don’t put up photos of Pizza Den strombolis. No one can resist them. But it’s great that you only ate half! Good job!

    • Thanks Blair! And I apologize for the temptation. Maybe you, Winn, Nikki and I can get together and all get a 1/4 of one. I reckon that would be healthy. Either that or enough to piss us off.

      • I might just have to get one for lunch now… I can’t. stop. thinking. about. stromboli.

        Yes, we should get 1/4 of something soon! Maybe next week we can hang out. Call or email me!

      • I’m proud of you! Let’s go to Pizza Den and celebrate. No, I’m just kidding. I am glad that I can inspire even that much. I really am proud of you, that’s awesome.

  3. You did not fail. Just concentrate on how much better you did than you would have before you started this journey then you will see how really successful you were. I’m sorry you were sick and glad you’re back. I so enjoy reading your blog every day.

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