I’m back! Did you miss me? I am so sorry I have been gone the last two days. I took ill Monday morning and just got over it yesterday afternoon. So, I have been out of work. And when I’m not at work I have no internet, which equals no blog posts. Plus I really didn’t feel like writing them. The past couple of days I have eaten nothing but soup and a little salsa, so I am going to focus on the weekend’s eats.
Friday night we were helping the in-laws to get ready for a Relay for Life yard sale we were having Saturday morning (aside: it was quite successful. We raised close to $300!), and they wanted to eat at Pizza Den. This is a local establishment that serves pizza, pastas and amazing sandwiches. They were having a fundraising night for the school where Nikki works so I did not raise a fuss. I did, however, bring my own dinner. I had a White Chocolate Wonderful peanut butter sandwich and some pretzels. Score one victory for Evan! I was asked twice before they ordered if I was sure I didn’t want anything, but after that nothing else was said. I was kind of surprised. Usually in these occasions someone will throw in a “This sure tastes good Evan” for good measure, but they were all pleasant. I may not have to have the awkward talk with my mother-in-law after all.
This time I failed. However, I usually eat a whole one and Nikki and I shared this one, so I am counting it as a successful failure. These things will occur, I know, and I am not going to beat myself up. I will just focus on the next meal.
pizza rolls, chips and salsa, and Mountain Dew! My Achilles Heel! I added a healthier option and made hummus from the Peas and Thank You cookbook.
No one ate it. Even me. I can’t pass up pizza rolls. I am just glad I had friends there who would help me eat them. I can eat a bag of forty by myself, no problem.
Sunday was a lot of fun. We had old fashioned Sunday at our church. Usually the men wear overalls and the women wear big dresses and bonnets. I didn’t have any overalls, but I had some suspenders. I bought these suspenders last year for old fashioned Sunday and found that my gut was too bulbous to wear them comfortably. I thought that I was a little lighter this year so I tried again and…they fit! I could comfortably get my pants over my gut and not put on a show (if you know what I mean). Here is my look:
I think you can see the reflection of my dear wife laughing in my glasses.
That afternoon I was sitting outside reading Romans to prepare for that night’s Awana lesson. Gawain was with me, since he had this look on his face when I opened the curtains and he could see outside:
I threw the frisbee and looked out over our land. I love this time of year. The leaves change, the temperature lowers and it becomes dark earlier in the evening. Everything seems magical. I have always been amazed at seeing my own breath. It seems like some weird form of validation. The proof that I am really alive. I started to beat myself up again about eating so poorly. Why do I fall into this trap every weekend? I would have continued to question myself, but a cold nose touched my foot and I turned to find that I had thrown the frisbee on the roof.
I realized, with a laugh, that all this self reflection was pointless. I was putting myself on the roof – in isolation because of my mistakes. I realized that when I do this to myself I am no longer functional, I can’t achieve my purpose, like a frisbee on the roof. I cannot define myself by the place I have currently stopped, I just have to keep moving to get to the place I want to be. I have to get off the roof.
That might be an overly schmaltzy metaphor. Pepto Bismol can do that to you.