It’s Random

Nikki makes really good amazing quesadillas.But, I should probably give the props to my sister in law, who came up with the recipe. The only thing Nikki added was green and red bell peppers, because unlike my brother I enjoy eating “bugs”. We are crawling (read: we’re poor) to pay day and eating whatever is left in the pantry. We had tortillas and black beans which broke open some sort of mind door where my sister-in-law’s recipe resided. That was a really weird metaphor, but go with me.

I have gotten kind of stale in my work lunches-I pretty much eat peanut butter sandwiches with a fruit or vegetable. What do you guys eat for lunch? Any suggestion that doesn’t involve Hostess Brand Suzy Q’s would be appreciated. I survived on those five times a day in the months leading up to my marriage. I kind of wonder what is in the cream filling now that I saw this video from Sixty Minutes: Creating Fantasy Flavors

That really made me think. Also, I have read over half of The End of Overeating and it was very good. For some reason I can’t finish a book that is full of scientific information. I am very intrigued, but just end up napping a lot. Also, it is hard to read the book after my drool causes the pages to stick together. Don’t let that deter you though, because it is really informative and eye-opening. This exact paragraph is why I would make a horrible reviewer of things.

To round out this random blog post I would like to tell you a work story. My boss came to me yesterday and asked if I wanted to be the building mayor. This is a semi-ridiculous title that doesn’t come with it’s own house or giant novelty scissors. It basically means the same thing as taking the seat in the bulkhead of an airplane: it makes me in charge of the lives of my co-workers should an emergency occur. Today I had to go to “Active Shooter Training” in which we learned what to do should a person come in the office with a gun and start shooting. The officer who presided over the training did a great job and I really learned a lot, but one part of the presentation really stuck with me. We watched a surveillance camera video from the shooting in Columbine. It was very upsetting to see these two young men shoot their classmates while laughing and making jokes. It was upsetting to see young men and women scream and duck under tables only to be told to “shut up” and then shot with a shotgun three times. This short three minutes of video traumatized me. It made me think about the individuals and families that actually went through that hell. My prayers ever since have been focused on them. I hurt for them, I really do. Them and all of the people who have had to go through such things. Can you imagine that happening in your children’s schools? In your hometown? To people you knew? It’ll really bum you out if you let it.

But don’t worry, there is much more hope and love in the world than hate. That is what is great about Christmastime. All of that love and joy come to the surface. That is, if you don’t count Black Friday.

On that note, to bring up the mood here at the end, I have a better picture of our tree.And a random dog picture.He always gives me that look.

Love you all.

Thanks Thanksgiving for the Thankfulness, pt. 2

That was a great, albeit fast-moving, week off. Nikki and I got a lot done and now this is in our living room:You can also see Zelda paused on the tv. I can’t believe it’s the “most wonderful time of the year” again. I woke up on Saturday around 8:00 and my wife was feverishly wrapping presents, so that is why there are already presents under the tree. That lady loves to wrap.

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful. We ate with my mom and dad. My dad works in Savannah, so we don’t get to see him very often. That made this Thanksgiving a very special occasion. I even tucked in my shirt!But I didn’t wear shoes. It was close to 70 degrees outside!

Nikki and I signed up to bring a dessert, but since I took on the Sweet Tooth challenge I couldn’t partake of it. We made Double Chocolate/Single Chin brownies from the Peas and Thank You cookbook. I heard they tasted good. Alright, full disclosure: I ate one. I tried not to, but I was walking by the counter to refill my tea and couldn’t stop my hand from swiping one and eating it. So a day and a half into the challenge and I had already eaten a dessert. At least it was a healthier version. I have steeled my resolve and will not let this happen again. You can count on me, friends.

We arrived at my mothers around 11:00 and since we weren’t eating until 2:00 my mom had set up some food to snack on. She made Apple Spice Hummus and Chocolate Peanut Butter Hummus:(That’s my dad, approving of the Hummus) I tried the Apple Spice on a graham cracker and it was delicious. I stayed away from the Chocolate Peanut Butter, for my own good. I knew if I tried it my face would end up in the bowl.

She also put out an awesome cheese tray with gouda, aged sharp cheddar, colby jack and a cranberry goat cheese.Oh, and Queso Chipotle Laughing Cow cheese. I spent most of my time hovering around this tray. I even ate some after the meal for dessert.

Here is a picture of my lunch plate:We had turkey, dressing, this broccoli and cheese crockpot thing that I didn’t like (sorry Mom!), a corn casserole thing from Hungry Girl that was excellent and some gold potatoes, sweet potatoes and onion that was all together in a crockpot (Mom please correct any of my mistakes in the comments). It was a wonderful, wonderful meal and I was very thankful for it and the time I got to spend with my lovely family. The rest of the weekend was spent watching all my teams lose football games, playing Zelda and shooting guns with my Pops.

Interesting side note: This morning I weighed in at 305 a difference of .8 pounds from last week. Immediately after I weighed I used the restroom. Nikki shouted “Don’t you know you are supposed to pee before you weigh?”

“No, I didn’t,” I retorted with a chuckle.

“Try it again, just to see.”

I weighed again and it said I lost 3.5 pounds.

I have lost faith in digital scales.

The Sweet Tooth Challenge

We went to visit our good friends the Grays yesterday.

Heather (as I’ve said before) has been put on bed rest so we try to go over and help and keep her company when we can. We brought food for McAlister’s. This is what was left of my lunch because I was too busy stuffing to do any snapping. I got the veggie sandwich on pita. It had cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, roasted peppers and some sort of cheese. I had asked for the cucumbers to be removed because, as diligent readers will know, I have extreme disdain for them. Just thinking that the little, slimy things were releasing their disgusting juices on the rest of my sandwich almost made me throw it away. Thankfully, the pita redeemed the sandwich, which is weird because when mom used to make us sandwiches in pita pockets I thought they were the worst thing ever. Go figure.

We took Max with us so that he could get his butt sniffed by some ladies instead of the Gawain-the-drool-fountain. He had procured some of the ladies toys, which didn’t sit well with the dachshund, Tori. She went into her begging routine, hoping that her toy would be returned. That made my day, so I had to share it with you guys. Incidentally, Tori barely left Heather’s lap the entire time we were there. She has gotten very protective of Heather and the babies, that aren’t even born yet! It amazes me how dogs know this stuff.

Last night we went over to Nikki’s mom’s for dinner. We had salads. That’s a terrible photo. I usually don’t like iceberg lettuce (I think it reminds me of the sinking of the Titanic and how that iceberg totally ruined Jack and Rose’s whirlwind, sex-in-an-old-car romance), but this was much better than anything else I could have eaten. I had blue cheese dressing. I know that wasn’t a good choice, and I am really trying to do better as far as dressing goes. I should probably be using vinaigrette and getting it on the side. I really want to work on making better choices, but this one is very hard. It is so easy to trick yourself into thinking “I’m getting a salad, I can get ranch. Why not?” It’s the old “eat one broccoli floret with your ribeye and a side of fries” eating healthy argument. I actually use this a lot on Nikki, who is so exasperated by just dealing with me daily that she gives in. “Nikki, I ate five baby carrots for lunch, can I have a Reese’s BIG CUP King Size?” “Whatever, just quit poking me in the face while I’m trying to sleep.” I thank God daily that she usually laughs at my need to constantly annoy her.

I read about this challenge on the blog From Cow to Wow and thought it was an excellent idea. I am going a little extreme on mine because this is a really big weakness of mine. I am going to give up these things starting tomorrow and going to January 2nd:

  1. All carbonated beverages. I will be drinking water, juice made via spinning wheel of death, or tea.
  2. All desserts. It’s better to abstain than pants-strain
  3. Chips, pretzels, etc. that I would usually eat with my work lunch. These can easily be replaced with apple slices or baby carrots.
  4. I guess everything else sort of fits in the “all desserts” category. I’m talking candy, ice cream, chocolate, cake, muffins (cake), and anything that ends in an -oodle.
Naturally, since I am starting this tomorrow, I have written this post riding the high of Mountain Dew and Oreo Cream Pie.
All prayers will be appreciated.
P.S. I know I said yesterday that I would post about our cooking debacle, but it actually hasn’t occurred yet. Look for that post on the day after Thanksgiving. 

Cinnamon Sugar Pita Chips

A funky smell was coming from my fridge. I had done it. The quintessential privileged American faux pas. I had let food ruin.

For some reason, I bought enough produce to juice every day last week, and I only juiced once. I can blame it on getting busy, or being lazy, but I just didn’t do it. I decided that I needed to go ahead and juice everything I had before it could ruin. It made this much juice:And this much mess: For some reason this reminds me of Templeton from Charlotte’s Web.

I have decided that I really hate juicing. The fantasy of mass destruction no longer interests me. I will continue to do it for the health benefits, and continue to hate it for the cleanliness detriments. Did I use that correctly?

On Sunday, my mom, brother and sister-in-law came over for lunch. We made our own pizzas.This one was made by my mom and Sam. It had peppers and onions, 1/2 of it had small turkey pepperoni, five cheese Italian (that is what the bag said) and tomato basil goat cheese. It was very good. This is the one that Brandon made, which I have christened “the 20 cheese pizza” (sorry I didn’t get a picture before it got in the oven. But look at the pretty colors!). He slathered cream cheese on the crust, then put the five cheese Italian on there, then the tomato basil goat cheese. Then when the pizza came out he put parmesan on the top. It was, in a word, awesome. Here’s my plate:I also had some pop-chips, which are air popped. They are quite good, but they didn’t taste like I thought they would. Mom had made some oatmeal-type cookies and brought these pita chips for dessert. This is how much I liked them:Just so you guys don’t worry: I didn’t eat the whole bag. Brandon killed most of it.

Later that night, Max, Gawain and I continued to batch-it by watching some football.We made it through about half of the third quarter of the Ole Miss vs. LSU game before finally giving up and watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader reality show. You’d think I watch it for the scantily clad ladies, but Nikki will tell you that I am much more interested in the drama of it all.

Thanksgiving week has been great. A lot of lounging and Zelda playing. Hope yours is great as well! We are cooking a dessert for my family get together and I will post on what becomes of that debacle tomorrow. Until then-watch a Woody Allen movie. I recommend Sleeper. 

Great Grin, Double Chin

This is the scale in the bathroom at work. And yes, someone posted a Garfield comic above it that shows him getting on a digital scale that then says “Great googly moogly”. It is…off-putting.

I wonder, when I weigh myself, if everyone in the office can hear the heavy clunk-clunk that’s made when I maneuver the big black weights to 300. I wonder if they hear the sigh I make when I realize that I’m not finished. Friday, the scale said I weigh 304. At the beginning of the week my scale said I weigh 301. I realize that I should really not weigh myself on a different scale. I usually just weigh on Mondays on the one at home. I should keep to that. Though, I do wonder if the scale pictured above is more accurate.

The reason it probably is accurate is that I have already participated in two Thanksgiving meals! I was invited back to the Thanksgiving meal at my previous employers on Friday. I tried to make responsible choices, but it is hard when you don’t really know what are in the “vegetable” sides. I think I did alright, but I am going to have to make up for that this weekend and in the week ahead. I am definitely going to be juicing every day because I have all the time in the world. Which reminds me – I’m off next week! Yesterday I had cued up Tears for Fears’ “Head over Heels” to play as soon as I cranked up my truck at the end of the day. It was downright cinematic. I Donnie Darko’d the place. I really love my job (well, maybe more “like my job as a friend”), but having nine days off is very exciting. Nikki and I are going to try to get the house in order and blah, blah, blah, but the main reason I am excited for next week is that this is coming out:Yeah, I am a Zelda fanatic. I’ll be helping Nikki during the day and playing Zelda into the night. I am going to do my best to come up with some interesting posts next week and I will try to post at least every other day.

If I don’t see you again, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thanks Thanksgiving for the Thankfulness

Yesterday was an interesting day.

For instance, for no reason whatsoever, I decided to live tweet myself watching thirty minutes of the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando. I only did the first thirty minutes because I realized reading the Hunger Games would be infinitely more interesting. Twenty minutes later I woke up with drool on my Kindle.

This morning I had to eat quickly, so I made some whole wheat toast and topped it with cashew butter and banana slices.The banana kind of took over the plate. I promise I will get better at this.

Today is our annual Thanksgiving Lunch at work. I HATE these events. I can’t stand to be forced to make something and then have people be smoozy all around it. “Oh that looks so good!” ” I’ve never seen such an original idea for a recipe!””Does that smoking mean it’s done?!” I know people mean well when they do this, but I would rather avoid the thing all together. But, since my want to be liked overwhelms my negative attitude, I searched for awhile to find the perfect recipe. I finally settled on Canadian Maple Baked Beans from the website Oh She Glows. I chose this recipe because it looked remarkable and you make it in the crock-pot. Deliciousness and laziness? Sign me up! Since this had to serve a good bit of people, I doubled the recipe. Now, my OCD kicked in and I am sure that I somehow screwed this up by not following the recipe EXACTLY. I really fret and worry about this kind of stuff. Here is Nikki adding the cranberries:You want to know why she added the cranberries? The recipe called for a handful and I (seriously) thought that if I put a handful in it would have been too much because the recipe was written by a woman. I don’t know if this is old school sexist or downright insane. I’ll let you be the judge.

The meal went well and a couple of people really liked the beans and asked for the recipe. I don’t know why I get so worked up over these things, they really are a lot of fun. It is nice to sit down with your co-workers because when you do you realize that you don’t really know these people at all. I got to hear some funny stories and some sad stories. I got to find out that we know some of the same people and have the same opinions about them. It really started to feel like we were becoming a community with each other. Sometimes when you work with someone it’s like you only see one small inch of a giant canvas. If you spend some time, and paint in the rest of the canvas, you can step back and think “Wow, that is a really beautiful picture. I’m so glad I got to see that.” I am glad I put aside my negative feelings and dove in to be a part of this meal with my co-workers friends.

That is something for which to be thankful.

Weird, Gay Evan

Yesterday I had juice for breakfast, this you know. I had packed my usual for lunch-nut butter sandwich, carrots and a larabar-but I felt like I just needed to go out to lunch. I decided to call my friend Vanessa.

We have known each other since I worked in the Study Abroad office a couple of years ago and we go to lunch every now and again to catch up. Today we decided on McAlister’s. Usually when I eat at McAlister’s I get a Nacho app, turkey melt and Sun Chips or Doritos. I was trying to eat healthier, obviously, so this time I chose a Veggie Club sandwich and some baked Lay’s. It was stacked like its namesake, but filled with avocado, red peppers, cucumbers, lettuce and two types of cheese.

I hate cucumbers. I don’t know why we tolerate these. They should all be turned into pickles instantly or thrown away. Needless to say, I did not finish the sandwich.

To switch gears abruptly – I named this blog Heavy Evan not only because I am personally heavy, but also because I wanted to speak about matters that are “heavy”. So here I go.

Social Media is an interesting beast. It allows instant gratification. I can say something witty and it might be “liked” or “re-tweeted”. But, what happens when it isn’t? It is a very fast road to depression. I thought a lot about the last scene from The Social Network when thinking about this topic. He had everything he could have ever wanted, but all he really wanted was the one girl who liked him to, well, like him.

Ever since I can remember I have been what Albus Dumbledore would call a “fierce friend”. I would do anything for you. I truly love and love hard. I still think about a friend of mine in high school named…well, let’s call her Opal. Maybe the reason she sticks in my mind is because she was the first popular person to “like” me. I truly LOVED her. Not in a romantic way, although I did harbor a crush occasionally, but in every other way you could. She was funny and had a great personality. She was always positive and encouraging. I have not spoken to her in eight years.

Now, the sheer fact that I am saying this is not charming to people, it’s creepy. Because I am a man, I am somehow not allowed to have emotions. I am not allowed to be passionate about the people in my life. This makes me weird or gay. This is utter crap. I can tell you of more nights than I can count that I cried myself to sleep because I gave everything I had to someone and they easily forgot me. There are faces that still waft through my mind, people that at one time meant everything to me. They were my forever friends that are no longer even acquaintances.

I wanted to protect myself in this regard, so I decided on a three strike rule. I would in-itiate contact three times and if it was not reciprocated, I would never initiate it again. This worked like gangbusters for a while. But, once I love someone I cannot forget them. So I have broken my rule numerous times. And I have gotten hurt numerous times.

This is what I mean about social media. The idea of a true friend has been diluted down to a picture we press a button next to. And you know what really hurts? When someone you love doesn’t even push your button. Snail mail is ancient, email is too much effort, messaging on Facebook is too much effort, 140 character tweets are too much effort. I am starting to think that the dream I had of having a friend that lived next door, that hung out on the porch while our children played together, and that grew old with me, will never come true. I guess friends are just made to be in your life at certain points and then go away.

I was thinking on these things while I was driving to pick Nikki up tonight. I drove past a dead deer that had been dumped by the side of the road. I thought about how that deer was enjoying life until something came along and ruined it. Something pierced his heart and instead of frolicking in a meadow he is now dumped by a state highway. Sad and alone and changed forever. Some part of me relates to that deer. How he would have been better off if that something never came into his life.

But, I still think about you all. I still love you all like I did all those years ago. I still pray that you are well and happy.

I still think it’s my fault.

And I don’t know a soul who’s not been battered
I don’t have a friend who feels at ease
I don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered
Or driven to its knees
But it’s alright, it’s all right
We’ve lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the road we’re traveling on I wonder what went wrong
I can’t help it, I wonder what went wrong.
Selected lyrics from American Tune by Paul Simon (that one always makes me cry)

P.S. While I always appreciate and love your comments, please don’t think that I am somehow sad or depressed. I just pledged to always be honest, and sometimes I think about these things and I was thinking about them when I wrote this. I am a very happy man with a very happy life who sometimes feels sad about losing friends. But those feelings go away when I see my wife smile and say “Hey honey”.

And Pippin was his Name-O

Yesterday was the most dreaded day of the quarter for my two dogs – wash day. I say quarter because Nikki and I are both incredibly lazy when it comes to washing the dogs so we avoid it as long as possible. Since it was doggie wash day we decided to eat baked potatoes for a quick and easy dinner. Unfortunately this is the only picture I have to show you because I forgot to take a picture of them unwrapped. You’d think I was going for something artsy since the front one is partially unwrapped, but really I just said “screw it” after I burned my finger trying to unwrap it.

While the potatoes were baking I took Gawain out to play frisbee. He is a lot more manageable in the tub after he has had some exercise. While Gawain was retrieving the frisbee and I was reading Hunger Games on my truck’s tailgate, the fifth member of our family jumped up to pay a visit. I realized I forgot to tell you guys about Pippin, our outside cat. He is by far my favorite furry family member because he requires almost zero maintenance. We set him up a nice bed and a kitty door in the shed and he comes and goes as he pleases. We put food out for him, but occasionally he’ll bring us a front porch gift of a frog, a mole, a bird and one time a squirrel. It upset me to see the dead squirrel, but I was also proud of Pippin’s hunting prowess. I taught him absolutely nothing he knows. In this picture he is warily eyeing Gawain who, upon first sign of Pippin, will chase him mercilessly. It really fulfills the stereotype. To brag on him again, Pippin is wily enough to lead Gawain to situations he can’t escape. Like the time he slid under our neighbor’s barbed wire fence and Gawain ran into it full speed. That resulted in the yelping fit of the century.

After frisbee time we proceeded to the nail cutting portion of the evening. I really wish I could get a picture that does this justice. This is the best I shot. Basically, Nikki has to straddle Gawain while I try to (quickly) cut his nails. He absolutely hates this, and has ever since he was a puppy. We don’t know why, he just does not dig it. He really doesn’t even let us touch his paws without growling. I hope Nikki doesn’t mind me telling this: one time he got so upset while we were doing it that he peed on her. We have tried everything to calm him down, but it doesn’t work. Alas, his nails must be cut. Does anyone have any expertise in this area they can share? I hate to see him so upset, but he could have problems with his paws if we let his nails grow too long.

After his mani-pedi Gawain got the fancy oatmeal shampoo treatment that led to this gratuitously cute photo:I wanted to have juice for breakfast this morning so I went ahead and juiced everything last night then stored it in a Nalgene bottle in the refrigerator until this morning. I thought it was really crazy how the different juices separated in the bottle. I am sure there is some science to that. I wondered if I might be losing some nutritional benefit by refrigerating it overnight. Does anyone know? I really don’t have time in the mornings to juice everything and I can’t juice for lunch (because I am at work) or supper (because that is the only meal Nikki and I share). Any suggestions?


A little Butter goes a long way, albeit very Slowly!

I have a confession to make.

I didn’t actually play the lady off that was talking to me on Friday (confused? see this post). I was talking to my brother and he said “Evan, that was really rude.” I took a little artistic license there and made it seem like what I imagined in my head had actually happened. I assure you, I am not that rude in real life. Only in my thoughts.

You know what I ate for lunch on Saturday, but I want you to know that for the rest of the weekend I made very healthy decisions. Even though I ate my weight in pizza, I still was a little hungry that evening. I decided on this:Panda Puffs with Almond Milk.

I bought Panda Puffs because Caitlin of Healthy Tipping Point is always talking about them. Let me tell you, she is absolutely right to talk them up because they are delicious. I asked Nikki to taste them and she made a face that looked like a lizard having a seizure. She is not a fan of Almond Milk.

We went to my mom’s for lunch, as we do every Sunday. I love eating with Mom because she is so excited about us trying to eat healthier and she is the one who tipped me off to all the great vegetarian, vegan, and healthy living blogs there are out there. Here’s what was on the menu: Roasted red potatoes and green beansMaple infused butternut squash and apples from this recipePumpkin Cornbreadand Mama Pea’s Pumpkin Molasses cookie dough balls. One is missing here because I ate it. Before the top had even come off. Mom actually made these into ice cream sandwiches for us with some vanilla frozen yogurt, but I regrettably did not take a picture. Probably because they shot into my mouth as soon as they were out of the freezer. Here’s my lunch plate:

Everything was wonderful, except the maple infused butternut squash and apples. For some reason, I have never liked cooked apples. They call me a Communist at company picnics because I don’t eat apple pie. That cornbread was so awesome I took some home and ate it for dinner. I prepared it by slicing it open, putting a lot little butter on the top and reheating it in the oven at 350 for about 10 minutes. Supercalifragilisticexpeali-delicious.

I woke up this morning and decided to do some exercising on the ol’ WiiFit. We were in a hurry so I just did fifteen minutes of Free Step. This is a cool routine on the game that allows you to step on and off the balance board while watching something else on your tv. There is a lady voice that counts with you on the Wii remote so you can keep in step. Nikki did fifteen minutes of yoga with a soundtrack presumably provided by Victor Wooten. I felt lazy and did not want to juice this morning (or should I say take an extra 30 minutes to clean all the parts of the juicer after juicing) so I ate some more Panda Puffs in Almond Milk.

I was very excited to find out, while reading this blog, that there is a Couch to 5k app for iPhone! Perhaps I can use this information to guilt my wife into letting me purchase an iPhone 4s. I’m fairly certain I could find a way to make even Siri give me the silent treatment.

Happy Monday!

P.S. I took a page out of Fiona Apple’s book for my Post Title. Please excuse me for this. 


Prayer of the Overeater

I majorly stumbled today.

I woke up thinking about pizza. I had eaten some last night when I was visiting with the Grays. Not too much, just a couple of pieces, but something about that taste made me think about it over and over again. Throughout the whole morning all I could see was pepperoni, stuffed crust and extra cheese.

My wife left early this morning to visit a friend. “This is my chance,” I thought, “I can go get a pizza without any judgmental eyes.” This is ludicrous of course, because my wife doesn’t judge me, she just worries about my health and tries to take care of me.

I was watching the Penn State game and thinking about how awesome it would be to have a pizza and a cold Mountain Dew to drink. I could no longer resist the temptation. I order my pizza online, got in the truck and drove the twenty minutes into town. Once procured, I placed the pie carefully in my passenger seat, lusting for what lay inside that cardboard box. I barely remember the ride home.

I put some ice in a cup, poured the Mountain Dew, sat down on the couch and within the hour the pizza was gone. While the pizza felt good while I was eating it, when I was done I felt immediate regret and shame. Why did I do that? Was it even worth it? I just ate at least three days worth of calories for nothing. To satiate my ridiculous desire. I am now convinced more than ever that food is a drug and I am addicted to it.

Will there be a day when I no longer have these cravings? I sincerely hope so. But, I know it won’t come without some very hard work. I pray for strength when the next craving comes. I pray that God will remind me of all the people who encourage and support me in my better health journey and help me to realize that I am letting you down as well.

That fire is out now, but there are still embers smoldering below the surface. Lord please cool those embers! I want to build a better fire. One that burns brighter and lasts longer. One that provides warmth not only to myself, but others. Lord give me the wisdom to use the right kindling and the best wood. I’m so tired of being cold and I need Your help.

Into Your Grace, I commit my stomach.