I woke up on Saturday and went outside to immediately see five buzzards in the tree outside. They were looking at me lustfully as I yelled “I’m not dead yet!” They flew away with a knowing chuckle.
I am sorry I missed posting yesterday. I got a little busy and time got away from me. I usually work on these during my lunch break, but yesterday’s lunch break didn’t turn out so well. The advertising for the Monopoly game at McDonald’s was lodged somewhere in my subconscious and I found myself craving a double quarter pounder. I had some cash in my wallet and some hurt feelings from some mess at work so I figured it would be a good time to get out of the office. I ordered my double quarter pounder combo (large size of course) and trekked over to the Belk parking lot to sit in the shade and listen to podcasts of This American Life. The story doesn’t end here, but suffice it to say I did not pass Go or collect $1 million.
My wife had to work late last night conducting parent teacher conferences so I told her I would cook. I decided to make Spanish Quinoa from a recipe in the Peas and Thank You cookbook. Quinoa has an interesting texture. My wife and I were both surprised at how much we enjoyed this recipe. It is supposed to a side dish, but we ate it as our meal. This made me feel a little better about that Double Quarter Pounder, even though I shouldn’t.After dinner we got all of the recipes for the next two weeks’ meals together and started working on our grocery list. Thanks to a few angels in disguise I am going to be able to purchase the items I need to juice at least once a day for the next week or so. We were going through all the different recipes that I had printed off of blogs and the Peas and Thank You cookbook and all we could put together were six meals! All the while my wife was asking me questions and I was getting irritated and the dogs were barking and emotions were high. “What do you want to do Evan? How can we fill out the remaining meals?”
“I don’t know honey! I don’t know what to do!” I have been doing a lot of research about the types of food I need to be eating, but as far as cooking goes I am a novice. I have to follow a recipe exactly. We finally padded our list with a few options, while not vegetarian, were still reasonably healthy. We sat down to catch up on our DVR programs feeling accomplished.
A few minutes go by. My wife looks at me and says “You still have that cash right? $22 worth?” This was the moment I was dreading. I can’t lie to my wife, but if something doesn’t come up in conversation I am not going to mention it. Come to think of it, that is really a lie too.
“I do have that cash, about $14 worth.” I say with an apologetic grin
“Where did you eat?”
“So, we are going to sit here for an hour and struggle over healthy recipes and then you are just going to blow it all during the day at lunch?” she said as she stormed off to the bedroom.
I was ashamed of myself. She was absolutely right and righteous in her anger. I proved myself to be a walking hypocrisy. Why am I trying to upend everything my wife has known about eating her entire life, yet when I am alone I don’t change? I am the personification of Romans 7:14-25. I am not practicing what I would like to do, but am doing the very thing that is killing me. The very thing that causes buzzards to hang from my trees and squawk dirges while watching me eat. “It’s only a matter of time” they think. I pray every day that I can prove them wrong. I pray every day for the strength to stand up for myself and my family and eat what is right. I pray to be better, to become healthy. Mostly, I pray to be a husband that my wife can be proud of – for many years to come. I also pray for you who are also struggling with food. By the grace of God we can rebuild our temples so that they may shine with His glory and not our own selfishness and greed. Amen.