I think I ended yesterday’s post poorly. It sounds like I am making light of the fact I overeat, when actually I was just being really awkward and didn’t know how to finish that post. Honestly, that thing with my face falling asleep really happened! Wouldn’t that wake most people up? The way I eat terrifies me.
Case in point-last night we had my mom’s “Almost Vegan Lasagna” (I’ll call it that because there was a smidgen of cheese in there) and some garlic bread for dinner. It was a lovely meal and filled me up just as I should be-not hungry, but not weighed-down by an over full stomach. The taste of the garlic bread lingered in my mouth and I thought of the many ways I could get rid of it. I had some gum, I could brush my teeth, or I could eat something else. Naturally I chose to eat something else.
My wife had asked me to pick up some milk at the store before I came home. I had to go by there anyway because we are having a get together tomorrow with our friends from Sunday School. As it is getting colder, we thought we would have a bonfire and cook some hot dogs and s’mores. I filled up the front of the cart with Nathan’s hot dogs (is there another brand?) and headed over to get the milk. On the way I passed the cereal aisle and thought “I might need something for dessert”. My wife calls Life cereal my “crack” and when I passed it in the cereal aisle I felt a twinge.
We finished our lasagna and I got up to put the dishes in the sink. My tongue was darting out of my mouth like a lizard and I said “This garlic bread has a horrible aftertaste. It’s a good thing I thought of dessert,” my wife’s eyes beam, “for me.” Then she pouts.
I poured my customary over large, supposed-to-be-for-mixing bowl and snarfed it down with haste. What a lovely burst of flavor (endorphins?)! What a treat to enjoy! Later, I found out that my wife’s comparison of cereal to crack was not far off. After she went to bed I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I wanted, NEEDED more cereal. I couldn’t even focus on what I was watching. I tip-toed to the bedroom and found my wife sitting up in bed reading. “I am going to close this door,” I told her as I closed this door. This causes Max to go into hysterics and start slinging his squirrel, which in turn causes Gawain to bark and try to attack him. All of these distractions excited me. “It’s like God wants me to eat more cereal!” I thought as I went back into the kitchen. I still wasn’t sure she wouldn’t hear me so I took my Bigfoot Bowl into the living room and filled her to the brim. When I finished I realized with a gasp that the entire box was gone. I hesitated for a moment then poured the milk and ate. I then put the empty box back in the cabinet so my wife wouldn’t know what I had done.
Tell me, are these the acts of a crazy person? Or, are they more akin to the actions of an addict? Food addiction is real, and I dare say that I suffer from it. How do you overcome an addiction to something you require daily? I guess you just take it one day at a time. Some days are good and other days I eat an entire 8-count box of Pop tarts. Thankfully, I have a family that encourages me on the bad and good days. I hope you do too. If not, just look for me in the cereal aisle.